Boxes of memories

From the time I went away to college at age 18 until shortly before her death when I was 30, my mother wrote me letters.

I saved every one of them.

Today e-mail, cell phones, Skype, texts, face chat, social media, and Instagrams connect people in ways I never dreamed possible when I went to college. Now families and loved ones can share their thoughts, experiences, and questions in real time when they're separated. Young adults have a 24/7 electronic lifeline to their parents, siblings, friends

Not so long ago, leaving home meant limited contact with those you left behind. In college, I shared a single pay phone with about 50 other girls on my dorm floor. Long distance calls were expensive and time on the phone was limited. There were no answering machines or voice mail, no way to leave a message. We relied on the post office to carry news to and from home. Trips to the mailbox were filled with anticipation, all of us desperate for a letter or two.

My mother's letters were in a category of their own. I kept them safely stored in chronological order for decades. My parents died within weeks of each other when I was 30, and at times the grief was overwhelming. While I was comforted by the knowledge that I had all my mother's letters to me, I couldn't bring myself to open the box where they were stored. It was 12 years before I could bear displaying a photo of my mother in my house, and it's taken even longer for me to feel I could revisit her letters with joy, not sadness.

The time has finally come to re-read them. Today I begin a journey of love and remembrance, a tribute and memorial to my mother and the home I left behind as revealed in her letters.

I've started this online journal with nothing more concrete in mind than documenting my experience of reading these letters not as the young adult who received them but as a mature woman and mother of two teenagers. While I don't have a plan other than to follow my heart and my Muse, it's safe to expect something resembling my usual mix of writing, photography, art, and poetry.

Let's see where these letters take me, what they reveal and inspire.

Did you grow up during the age of letter writing? Do you have any that you've saved?

Comments

[Neil]

Love the idea. You inspire me with your blog because when you have an idea, you just go with it.

[Erik R.]

Ooh, I'm looking forward to this! Great idea.

[J]

I also grew up in the age of letter writing. I have letters from my mom, and also letters that my dad wrote my mom when they reconnected (I was 21), and letters that my mom wrote my Grandma when my mom first went away to college. There aren't nearly enough of them, because she wasn't a prolific writer, and I probably wasn't careful enough and didn't save them all. I've tried going in and reading some, but mostly they make me sob uncontrollably, so I guess I'm not ready yet. I hope that this project brings you joy and peace, and that they bring that time of your life back to you a little bit. A time when your parents were still with you, and life all ahead of you.

[Lynn]

I love the idea of this project. I definitely grew up with letters. My mom would call once a week when I was in college and my dad would write a letter once a week. I anticipated both of them - and I have saved every one of those letters! And I was able to make one of the best friends I have by writing letters (wink,wink,nudge,nudge - I still have all of your letters too!!). I hope it's a beautiful journey for you as you read these - thanks for sharing with us!

[Erin]

I remember very fondly the letters you wrote me when you were in college. Whenever I see your handwriting, it reminds me of those light exchanges, you writing about your dogs and me victorious about diving off the high dive for the first time... I am looking forward to your exploration of Grandma's letters-- remembering my life with her during those times and hearing her "voice" again. Thank you for doing this!

[Susan Raihala]

I do have letters, randomly stuffed into a box in my basement. They are from my grandmother, mother, sister, husband, and occasionally friends. I loved getting letters and sending them. It's so sad that we don't write real letters anymore, but the new forms of communication certainly are connective and useful.

I pray these boxes of letters from your mother are healing, encouraging, sustaining, and inspiring, and I'm so grateful you are sharing the experience with us!

[magpie]

i have a box of letters from an old boyfriend. it's tied up with string, and i just moved it from the closet in my mother's house to a storage locker...without untying the string. someday maybe i'll read them.

[V-Grrrl]

Magpie, I found a box like that when I was moving. I re-read all the letters, then mailed them back to the old boyfriend because they contained so many great stories from his college days. I don't know if he kept them or threw them away. I just wanted to give him his stories back.

[Michele]

The days of long and newsy letters seems so long ago and faraway. My mother wrote weekly while I was in college and even afterwards...and often those letters contained a few dollars..."just because". How I wish I had saved those letters...fortunately I have my mom in my life and although she is computerless I will share the contents of your blog...she will appreciate your subject as well as your eloquent writing style.