Summer of 2009

Summer isn't my favorite time of year, but this year everything has been different. It's been warm but cooler than normal in Virginia, and there's been lots of rain, which I secretly like. Everything has a different look and feel this season.

Last summer was stressful and disappointing. Our spirits, our lives, our finances, and our future were all pinched and unhappy. At times it felt everything was falling apart. We couldn't exhale, rest, or find a groove amid all the rubble in our lives.

But this summer feels like summer should. Life has taken a different rhythm. One of the key selling points on this house is its setting in the woods and the large outdoor deck and seating areas that make it possible to sit under the trees. In 2008, so much was unsettled, inside and out, that the advantages of these spaces were mostly lost on us. In 2009, the deck furniture has seen a lot of use. It especially makes me happy to see my daughter parked outside with a book or my Man decompressing and sipping a Stella at the end of a long day.

This summer, my life is different too. I'm focused on being a mom, taking the kids places, entertaining their friends, keeping the kitchen stocked and the laundry done, and preventing the house from crossing the line from cozy and disheveled to dirty and uninviting. I'm busier than normal, have less time to myself, but for the most part, I'm enjoying it. I feel more relaxed than I have in years, at peace with my life, including the parts that haven't fallen into place or shaped up as I'd hoped.

My children are almost 14 and 12 now, and I enjoy them so much. They're funny, interesting, mature beyond their years. Both of them are smart, creative, thinkers and good company. I love the way they come behind me and wrap me in their arms when I'm sitting in my desk chair or standing in the kitchen. I love how tall, strong, and sturdy my son is now and that even though my daughter is well over 5 feet tall, I can still bury my face in the silky top of her head. We get silly and share secrets and have the best conversations in the car. We laugh until we can't catch our breath. Even when one or more of us is out of sorts, we manage to accommodate each other pretty well. There's a good dynamic among us, one of acceptance.

I remember at one time in our lives when we were facing some major changes and challenges, an acquaintance said, "There are plenty of people who could not get through this, but y'all are different. Y'all are a really cool UNIT."

A unit? I liked that choice of words. What it means to be part of creating and sustaining a family UNIT is something I often think of when I'm lying in bed at night, taking stock of my life. There are ways I've failed myself and others, choices I wish I hadn't made, but there are also accomplishments and gifts hidden in plain sight.

These days the blogosphere and social networking sites seem quiet, and I sense that everyone has shifted gears, changed speed, focus. How is your summer shaping up for you? Quiet? Busy? Relaxing? Unsettled? Boring? Exciting?

Comments

[Susan Raihala]

Lovely post. Our summer has been strange, full of fits and starts, lulls and frenzies. This week provided an unexpected lull, for rest and regrouping. What a blessing!

[J]

I'm so glad your summer is better than last year. You had a hell of a crappy year last year, as did we. My mom died, which threw me for a major loop. My husband lost his job, which through our finance and his self-esteem for a loop. Other smaller stuff. But we survived, and I think the whole 'family unit' thing is a good part of why. Because before anything else, we are a family. And now, this summer, things are better. It's cooler than usual here, though no rain. I'd love some rain, but living in California, that's unlikely at best. My husband is working again, and though I was laid off in February, they realized their mistake and I'm going back next week. Our daughter is lazing about, and I only wish we had a big porch to sit on, but in California, at least the Bay Area, you have to be a millionaire to have that. Which we're clearly not.

Life isn't perfect, but it seldom is. But I feel secure in my little unit, and like we can take whatever crap the world throws at us. But we're glad for a break from the crap throwing right now. I know you are, too.

[RD]

It's a very strange summer for us in that we are not engaged in a major activity (like moving, or a big family vacation, or a consuming project). My kids opted not to do any specific summer camp or sport. We're hanging around the house, and in a way it feels very wasteful. On the other hand, we're gearing for the move into high school for the eldest, and that's got me a bit freaked out. And waiting for life to take a different direction in the bigger sense of the word. And, yes, I agree that everyone seems to have shut down a bit in the last couple of months. We'll see if that changes come fall and the start of school. Summer of 2009 feels very unsettled.