Art Journal

The last few years of my life have seen so many changes--in countries, culture, relationships, circumstances, employment, health, abilities, beliefs, and perspective.

On the outside, my life appears stable, with all the major elements cemented into place. But behind my painted front door and reflexive smile, my world often tilts and spins and lurches beneath my feet. Sometimes I crave change. Sometimes I get more than I want and struggle to deal with it.

I'm caught between the hard-earned wisdom and security the years have delivered and an adolescent sensibility that lurks in my brain and asks, "What's next? What's new? What are you going to do with your life? Surely this isn't all there is!"

To respond to midlife mindfully, we have to balance our inner Sage and our inner Teenager. It's tough work to ask hard questions. Be honest about the answers. Hold ourselves accountable for what we have done and what we have failed to do. Give ourselves credit when it's due. Take nothing for granted. Admit that sometimes we are our own worst enemies, and stop blaming and start changing.

So I offer "change" as my word of the day, word of the year, word for a life time.

Change: make it * be it * accept it.

Comments

[Shirl Grrrl]

I agree. And am loving that yellow!

[V-Grrrl]

I made the background by applying and layering about five different shades of yellow to a sheet of watercolor paper. I have just a bit more of that sheet left. It turned out really rich. In person you can see the various shades and shadows better than you can on a scan.

The letters are doubled-stamped.

[Di]

Oh, you wise woman you xxo

[furiousball]

beautiful!

[Kim Nelson]

We SO exist on parallel planes. This could be a well-crafted synopsis of my recent-years personal journal.

Regarding balance... it's one of the top three lessons meant for me in this particular life.

[Flubberwinkle]

Amen. [my inner Sage]

Like, I sooooooooo agree with your post! Awesome. [my inner Teenager]

[Slow Panic]

i struggle with this too -- wanting change and then fighting it when it comes. it's easy to think at 43 all my chances have passed me by and that this is it -- i'm going to laugh at this idea in another 20 years.

[apathy lounge]

Amen and Amen. You're so wise.

[AnnieH]

Amen, sister. And to be able to do it gracefully...ay-yi-yi. There's the rub.

[mamatulip]

Sometimes I come here and I wonder if you have been spending time in my own mind.

[Chris]

You should be a life coach or a therapist. You always make sense to me. School doesn't teach the things that you simply know.

[V-Grrrl]

I am busy trying to coach myself and the blog is therapy. : )

Mostly what I'm looking for in my own life at this stage is accountability for my own choices. I made them. I *make* them. I should claim what's mine. If I don't like where my choices have taken me, I need to do something about it and not just wallow.

[Chris]

Again... see how wise you are? I'm down with accountability, but sometimes there are choices I have to live with because "doing something about it" isn't the right answer... for me... right now. I suppose that's where an attitude and perspective tweak is the mature thing to do. Trying.

[Ern]

I'm all for taking responsibility for your own decisions, good or bad. But it sure doesn't come naturally...

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."