Wild Womans Wanted

The hand-lettered sign said

Wild Woman's Wanted

We all laughed but then I paused

To consider whether I qualified.

I have been broken.

Domesticated.

Reined in.

I no longer side-step or shiver when saddled

Buck off riders

Or rear back with an angry snort

Pawing the air

Showing the fearsome whites of my eyes

When fenced in.

Instead I accept others' burdens and work.

I do as I should.

I graze with my head down.

I come on command.

I step into my stall

Put my head in a bucket

And let the door close behind me.

I have relinquished

My freedom and my power

For lumps of sugar

Sweet words in my ear

A  soothing voice

A pat on the back

A comb in my hair

A roof over my head.

"Wild Woman's Wanted"

Are there any left?

Who’s laughing now? 

(Photo from the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas, credited to i.imgur.com on reddit. Came to me via Granola-Grrrl via furiousball via rywright. Photo was titled Hillbilly Craigslist.)

Comments

[Di]

Wow ... that's very powerful, Ms V.

[Chris]

I haven't read everything you've ever written, but this is one of my favorites. I don't want to relinquish "my freedom and my power", but it's happening. Is that good? Is that bad? It's likely natural. I just love this. Printing it out...

[Matt]

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." - Richard Bach

I love your poem but take umbrage with the idea that leading a life you define as safe and secure life robs you of your power and freedom. True power and freedom are realized in concert with your life, not in spite of it. Such things are not the exclusive domain of the untamed and untethered. Rather, I would argue, if the women and mothers of the world were empowered to recognize, embrace, and exercise their collective power there is no end to the goodness that the world would realize as a result.

You, by your choices, your deliberate action, and perhaps at times by accident, are raising two beautiful children, supporting and enriching the life of your husband and family, and contributing to the world through your art and writing.

You *are* powerful, and you *are* using your freedom to do amazing things in the world, and for that I am grateful.

Peace!

Matt

[Shirl Grrrl]

Wow to both the poem and to Matt's response! :-)

[RD]

Yes, Matt, but sometimes the "wild woman's" want to simply shrug off these constraints (because sometimes they FEEL like constraints) and gallop off into the wilderness. We "woman's" use our power in amazing ways--it's just that occasionally we want to use it in a different way, more wildly, than we are at the moment. I suspect, cynically I know, that this person looking for wild woman's is simply looking for someone to break. Wonderful picture; wonderful words.

[V-Grrrl]

Sometimes all we see is the fence, and other times we see the expanse of the field. : )

Sometimes the restraints of the sonnet bring the best words out in a poet, and sometimes an idea requires free verse.

As I was writing this poem, I was thinking not just of "domesticated" women but also of my husband, who gets up at 4 a.m., rides a crowded train, and then spends the day in a windowless cubicle. He knows what it's like to walk into a stall too.

So does my free-spirited dog, who adores me but would run off in an instant and never come back if I let him off his leash.

I like that the poem and the comments are exploring the idea of what makes a good life and our roles in choosing not only our circumstances but our perspectives on them. The field or the barn? Power and freedom or love and security? I think this is the inner struggle many women face. It is also the question that rises in both genders in midlife.

And what *does* the guy (or the girl) with the sign want? What is he/she looking for and why? I'd love to see one of my fiction-writing friends create a character and craft a story about the sign.

Neil--are you reading? Mignon? Tell me a story. : )

Thanks to all for taking the time to read and comment.

[Slow Panic]

gonna try and find the wild side a little bit more....

[Donna L. Faber]

This was ... thought provoking. A perspective on urban life, family life, and life in general. Urges me to personal reflection. There are times when I feel wild. There are times when I feel very reigned in. When I was younger, I had a somewhat irrational fear of mediocrity. Now, I don't worry about it so much.

I do tend to snort, and I can be very contrary. I just think it's my nature.

D~

[Kim Nelson]

For me, the sensation so eloquently conveyed in your poem came at particular stages when family life's demands outweighed the rewards. After a time, I realized they were part of my journey, valleys to prep me for the next series of peaks. At 50, I try to relish each place and be the most balanced, strong, creative woman I can muster.

[TB]

I think about this sometimes. How going to bed at 10pm is important to me now, how my days consist of cooking and cleaning and child rearing and laundry (I HATE laundry) and picking up the same toys for the gazillionth time and being woken in the morning to a diaper full of poop. I'm domesticated too, I suppose, but I prefer to think of myself as a racing mare who is merely taking a break before her second wind. And so are you.

Loved this one. Very thought provoking. Although when I first saw the sign with its unfortunate apostrophe, I thought, as I always do...woman's what?

[Tonya]

That is so funny! I was just composing what my 'want ad' for friends in this town would look like and it has a part about how for 37 years I was not an incubator or food source. How I was a gun-toting, man-chasing, hard-drinking, weekend warrior and policy wonk and how I still hear the call of the wild. I know I am doing good things now, but it would be nice to hang with some people who understand!

(PS: I am still planning on coming to DC in May - hope you'll be around then.)

[Nance]

Wow. And all I did was snort at the glaringly incorrect apostrophe. (Can't help it. Red ink flows through these veins.)

[Di]

Dammit, it's crap sometimes. I think to prepare us women (mostly still women) for this life, they need to be pulling us out of class in school, to wash the teachers dishes, to do their laundry, to clean up after them, to cook the boys dinner ... this poem just plucked on all my strings. Messed with my head. I'm heading into second time round all this 'stuff' and seriously, it kind of clears the mind on how we often give up our freedom, our education or ... we fight like hell to be everything so that we don't die of guilt about not caring for our men and family.

Dammit, Ms V. This poem was good. Damn good. If society wants what it appears to want from us, then just don't bloody educate us. It's better, we'd be happier, less hankering after freedom ... just have to get that 5th load of washing and then I'll be out ... but wait, I'm too tired now.

[furiousball]

you know... Mel got that from somewhere ;-)

[V-Grrrl]

furiousball,

oh, i better check on that. i thought perhaps this was one of her neighbors in texas, ha ha ha.

[Susan Raihala]

Very thought-provoking. I wonder how fear factors into this. Must think about it.

[Lisa Miller]

Been there done that. Got in the fucking U-Haul with my dog and my stuff, drove to Texas and married a musician, shaved my head and like it. Now wondering what to do next.

[Jason]

It is a beautiful poem and thought provoking. Both the wild ones and those behind the fences will still face unique learning and challenges. I don't mean to imply that we should be a certain way because that's the way it is, but simply to caution that the grass is not always as green as it seems.

[Ern]

I'm with Nance. I snorted at that incorrect apostrophe and the shameless, hilarious audacity of the subject.

The next stanza brought my mirth to an unexpected and uncomfortable halt.

There is much to ponder, but not tonight.

[Creekmore]

Photo credit correction: although my mother DID take that photograph in the Ozarks of Arkansas (Sugarloaf Lake, just outside of Hackett to be exact), the last part of the credit is a bit off.. I just gave it the title "Hillbilly Craigslist" before letting rywright post it on reddit; it was never actually on craigslist. The guy who made the sign doesn't own a computer, although he does have a very very nice bass boat and a terribly rude dog.

[V-Grrrl]

Creekmore,

I amended my photo credit note.

"Hillbilly Craigslist." That's the perfect title.

Thanks for the clarification, and thanks for sharing the photo, which as you can see, I found thought-provoking.