Compost Studios:

Devoted to the art of reducing, reusing, and recycling experience through essays, images, and poetry.


In the Studio
Past & Present
Studio Favorites
  • Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
    Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
    by Elizabeth Gilbert
  • Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know
    Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know
    by Alexandra Horowitz
  • Journal of a Solitude
    Journal of a Solitude
    by May Sarton
  • The Weight of Oranges/Miner's Pond
    The Weight of Oranges/Miner's Pond
    by Anne Michaels
  • The Art of the Bonsai Potato Kit: Zen - Without the Wait!
    The Art of the Bonsai Potato Kit: Zen - Without the Wait!
    by Jim Linna, Jeffrey E. Fitzsimmons, Mike Dillon
Backdoor
The Producers
Powered by Squarespace
Copyright 2005-2009
Veronica McCabe Deschambault, V-Grrrl, Compost Studios. All rights reserved. Content may not be posted or broadcast online or in other media without written permission.

 

 

Entries in marriage (3)

Thursday
11Mar2010

Wild Womans Wanted

DateMarch 11, 2010 at 09:54

The hand-lettered sign said

Wild Woman's Wanted

We all laughed but then I paused

To consider whether I qualified.

 

I have been broken.

Domesticated.

Reined in.

I no longer side-step or shiver when saddled

Buck off riders

Or rear back with an angry snort

Pawing the air

Showing the fearsome whites of my eyes

When fenced in.

 

Instead I accept others' burdens and work.

 

I do as I should.

I graze with my head down.

I come on command.

I step into my stall

Put my head in a bucket

And let the door close behind me.

 

I have relinquished

My freedom and my power

For lumps of sugar

Sweet words in my ear

A  soothing voice

A pat on the back

A comb in my hair

A roof over my head

At the end of the day.

 

"Wild Woman's Wanted"

Who’s laughing now?

 

(Photo from the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas, credited to i.imgur.com on reddit. Came to me via Granola-Grrrl via furiousball via rywright on Craig's List.)

AuthorVeronica McCabe Deschambault | Comment15 Comments |
tagged , , , , in , ,
Sunday
14Feb2010

The art of compromise

DateFebruary 14, 2010 at 14:02

Holly, our dainty tabby cat, weighs all of about 7 pounds. Despite her small size, she believes in living large, which is why she is sleeping in Jacques' dog bed.

Jacques is all, "Hey, if you don't mind, I'd like to get in MY bed now," and Holly is all, "I'm in the middle of my beauty rest and not in the mood to move. Go sleep somewhere else."

After sending subtle and polite signals to persuade Holly to move, a frustrated Jacques gives a single sharp bark. Holly licks her paws, curls up even tighter, and IGNORES him. They are like an old married couple.

Jacques is resigned to not getting exactly what he wants (like that hypothetical long married couple), but he's flexible, in more ways than one, and tries to make do with Holly's bed.

*Sigh*

"I'm not sure this is going to work," Jacques says.  "I'm a dog, she's a cat! We're so different. We have almost nothing in common! I'm really not comfortable with this arrangement. I'm feeling so REPRESSED. So unloved."

But then, after repeated attempts, Jacques finds he CAN make the situation work. He not only accepts his fate, he embraces it. What he perceived as being so constrictive now has the potential to be kind of cozy. Maybe this arrangement isn't bad after all.

Learning to share. Adjusting expectations. Mastering the art of compromise. And occasionally just SUCKING IT UP.

Everything I needed to know about marriage, I learned from my DOG.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all.

AuthorVeronica McCabe Deschambault | Comment19 Comments |
tagged , , , , , in , ,
Thursday
04Feb2010

What I bought at the bookstore

DateFebruary 4, 2010 at 09:44

I've been blocked with my writing. While I'm waiting for my words to come back, I'm enjoying what others have written. Here's what I bought at the bookstore yesterday:

How to Expand Love: Widening the Circle of Loving Relationships

Last year, I'd bought another of his books, The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality. I confess I didn't finish it, but I liked what I read. I have long felt science and spirituality have so much in common. While this gave my brain some interesting ideas to chew on, I quickly discovered the Newtonian physics I'd studied in school were not enough to pull me through the discussions of quantum physics in this book. I may revisit it one day and try again.

While I may not have been equipped for the physics discussions, I'm confident my background will enable me to handle a book on love, relationships, and compassion. ; )

Which is why I also bought this one:

 

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Long time readers know I've been with the same guy for more than three decades now. In that time, everything has changed--and nothing has changed. I was barely 20 when I married and was SURE I knew exactly what I was getting into.

I did--and I didn't.

The biggest surprise? That love doesn't "last" or necessarily "grow."  It evolves. Sometimes it ends. We have grown apart and come back together many times over the years. I think Elizabeth Gilbert is wise and funny and a brilliant writer. I can't wait to see what she has to say about the institution of marriage, because despite the "success" of my marriage, I consider myself a marriage skeptic too.

Finally, I picked up this:

Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See Smell and Know

A recent article on how service dogs are being trained to help war veterans deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the entrance of Jacques into my life piqued my interest in the incredible bond dogs share with humans. I'm a science nerd and I love biology, so this hit me on that level too.

We're going to be hit by yet another snowstorm this weekend, so now I'm ready to be socked in. What are you reading/watching/listening to?

AuthorVeronica McCabe Deschambault | Comment13 Comments |
tagged , , , , , in