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Words of wisdom
June 14, 2008 at 20:34 Quite a while back, a friend recommended The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup to me. I bought the book in April, but it sat on my shelf waiting for me to be ready to hear what it had to say. I thought it might be time to broaden my perspective on my emotional and physical health and the passionate desire I have to reorder my life.
When I read the opening paragraphs of the first chapter, I felt the author had climbed into my head with a laptop and written it based on what she saw there:
It is no secret that relationship crises are a common side effect of menopause. Usually this is attributed to the crazy-making effects of the hormonal shifts occuring in a woman's body at this time of transition. What is rarely acknowledged or understood is that as these hormone-driven changes affect the brain, they give a woman a sharper eye for inequity and injustice and a voice that insists on speaking up about them. In other words, they give her a kind of wisdom--and the courage to voice it. As the vision-obscuring veil created by the hormones of reproduction begins to lift, a woman's youthful fire and spirit are often rekindled, together with long sublimated desires and creative drives. Midlife fuels those drives with a volcanic energy that demands an outlet.
If it does not find an outlet--if the woman remains silent for the sake of keeping the peace at home and/or work, or is she hold herself back from pursuing her creative urges and desires--the result is equivalent to plugging the vent on a pressure cooker: something has to give.
June 14, 2008
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Reader Comments (15)
When I look at your quote from a male perspective
["As the vision-obscuring veil created by the hormones of reproduction begins to lift, a woman's youthful fire and spirit are often rekindled, together with long sublimated desires and creative drives. Midlife fuels those drives with a volcanic energy that demands an outlet."]
I notice a major difference.
When some men reach middle age, their hormonal balance often has a tendency to shift in a whole other direction. I've seen countless men celebrating middle age by dumping their life-long loyal spouse and children, while running off with that 20-something bimbo, making them "feel young" again.
They often go through that process with just as much volcanic energy, leaving a trail of broken hearts, broken families and broken homes in their wake.
Anyway, you're female, with a passionate urge to pursue your creative urges and desires.
Go for it ;-)
Lately I've been thinking that I haven't *changed* in midlife so much as I've come back to my true self. It's a process of digging out from under all the expectations, assumptions, and behaviors that have buried me and diverted my energy into accommodating other people.The physical act of moving and "shedding" my past and so much of the actual and psychologoical baggage I've been hauling through adulthood has really lightened my load and freed both my creativity and my voice.
The author, a medical doctor, sees a strong correlation between physical illness and emotional health and expression. When she writes in that last line that "something has to give," she's referring to health.
Women who choose to can be in control of their lives, their health, their relationships. Unfortunately, not everyone has the resources to make those choices.
I'm only 50 pages into the book, so we'll see how I feel about it when I finish. I'm looking for medical advice and understanding of the emotional issues.
As for controling our lives, health, and relationships, I think that's only partially true. We can strive to make good choices that will hopefully lead to good outcomes, but the biggest lesson of all is acknowledging and accepting all that we can't control and stop fighting to control it. It all comes down to the Serenity Prayer--knowing when to work for change and when to learn to live with things as they are.
* prints this out for her hubby *
Peter, a dear friend is starting the divorce process because the husband did exactally what you wrote. It's been devastating. There are 3 children involved, ages 9-15. The bimbo in question is 20 years younger but not a hot babe. We're still all amazed that this has happened.
My advice to younger women in their early 40s... if things start to go haywire in your life, mood, body... don't be afraid to ask your doctor if it could be menopause. I am now 45 and finished with it as far as cycles. I am pretty sure that I started at 43 if not younger. A simple blood test can measure your hormone levels. And there is nothing to be embarrassed about! I laugh when I tell people and see the shocked look on their faces. One friend said, "Oh! I'm so sorry!" and I said "Why? It's great except for the occasional hot flash!"
I keep trying to get my MIL to read this one...She got cancer in her ovaries last year, and I could sooo see what kind of stress was pulling on her in that area. The area of "mothering". I got it for her, but I don't think she has read it.
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